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My expectation was not realized, for when he found that his appeal
would not be successful, he got into quite a frantic condition. He
threw himself on his knees, and held up his hands, wringing them in
plaintive supplication, and poured forth a torrent of entreaty, with
the tears rolling down his cheeks, and his whole face and form
expressive of the deepest emotion.
"Let me entreat you, Dr. Seward, oh, let me implore you, to let me out
of this house at once. Send me away how you will and where you will,
send keepers with me with whips and chains, let them take me in a
strait waistcoat, manacled and leg-ironed, even to gaol, but let me go
out of this. You don't know what you do by keeping me here. I am
speaking from the depths of my heart, of my very soul. You don't know
whom you wrong, or how, and I may not tell. Woe is me! I may not
tell. By all you hold sacred, by all you hold dear, by your love that
is lost, by your hope that lives, for the sake of the Almighty, take
me out of this and save my soul from guilt! Can't you hear me, man?
Can't you understand? Will you never learn? Don't you know that I am
sane and earnest now, that I am no lunatic in a mad fit, but a sane
man fighting for his soul? Oh, hear me! Hear me! Let me go, let me
go, let me go!"
I thought that the longer this went on the wilder he would get, and so
would bring on a fit, so I took him by the hand and raised him up.
"Come," I said sternly, "no more of this, we have had quite enough
already. Get to your bed and try to behave more discreetly."
He suddenly stopped and looked at me intently for several moments.
Then, without a word, he rose and moving over, sat down on the side of
the bed. The collapse had come, as on former occasions, just as I had
expected.
When I was leaving the room, last of our party, he said to me in a
quiet, well-bred voice, "You will, I trust, Dr. Seward, do me the
justice to bear in mind, later on, that I did what I could to convince
you tonight."
CHAPTER 19
JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL
1 October, 5 A.M.--I went with the party to the search with an easy
mind, for I think I never saw Mina so absolutely strong and well. I
am so glad that she consented to hold back and let us men do the work.
Somehow, it was a dread to me that she was in this fearful business at
all, but now that her work is done, and that it is due to her energy
and brains and foresight that the whole story is put together in such
a way that every point tells, she may well feel that her part is
finished, and that she can henceforth leave the rest to us. We were,
I think, all a little upset by the scene with Mr. Renfield. When we
came away from his room we were silent till we got back to the study.
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